Dear Mr. Gardner,
Hello sir. Let me tell you that I do not appreciate you moving about on my property without my permission. I also find it very rude that you cut me off today when I was in the middle of doing some very important work.
The fact that you think you rule my lawn and can slither about wherever and whenever you please is not OK with me.
I do not like you Mr. Gardner, nor do I like any of your close and distant relatives and friends. I do not care that you supposedly eat bugs.
I'm sorry that I gave in to you and let out a scream. That only boosted your ego, I'm sure. As you propped your head up high to look back and mimic me, I decided to put a stop to this.
After deciding to kick you out of my life, I do not feel bad that you got ran over by a lawn mower. That will teach you to never ever mimic someone who is in charge of such a life changing machine.
Good bye, Mr. Gardner. It was not so nice to see you again. I hope your friends and family learn a lesson and choose to stay away from my property.
Sincerely,
Me
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