kids' mom

The day has finally arrived where the kids' mom is no longer in prison. As much as I knew that day would come sooner or later, it snuck upon us quicker than I had realized. I'm relieved to know that the kids can now stop saying, "my mom is in jail" and can try to rebuild that relationship with her that was basically non-existent the past year.

One year passed with a handful of letters and a couple of phone calls. Yesterday we were getting the kids into the truck when she called and she was in town. Reality. Our understanding was that she was at the bowling alley and wanted to see the kids. We briefly talked about it and headed over there, except, after searching the bowling alley twice, we couldn't find her. Empty promises. Again.

We headed back home thinking maybe we had misunderstood her, but since there was no phone number to call her, we couldn't do much more than tell the kids, "she was supposed to be at the bowling alley". The questions came rolling out from them. They were curious. They wanted to know when they would get to see her.

And then it happened. She showed up at the house. I was expecting the kids to go bananas and run out to her and hug her and kiss her. They were excited, but they didn't run to her. They casually got their shoes on and walked out to her (except Devin...she ran.) It was as if they could see they needed to be cautious, that they knew the history of the past and they were cautious. Innocent kids that know they have to be cautious.

Apparently she had said she would meet us at the park. The kids walked to the park with their mom and her friend(boy). They spent an hour together and then came home. They seemed to be happy to see her. And I think they got a few questions answered, but I don't think that makes up for the past year and the stuff they missed out on.

Now the kids want to know when they can go with her for the weekend. It's hard for them to understand that she has nothing. No job, no place to live, no food. We try to explain to them that she has to get certain things in order before they can stay with her. She has to be able to support them and show us that they will be taken care of and fed.

But who's to believe that anything has changed? We have years of history to base the future on. We have years of empty promises and inappropriate living situations to compare to. Yet, now, we are hopeful that maybe the time away, the time in prison, the parenting classes and other classes she has taken, will be the beginning of something new and something better and more promising for the kids.

For now, we will answer their questions and encourage them to talk. In the meantime, we will wait and see what comes next and remain hopeful that something will change, for the sake of the kids.