my grandma

Tonight I was informed of some bad news that will be coming. It's just a matter of time. My grandma who has been in the nursing home for quite a few years has taken a turn for the worse, if that is even possible.

She doesn't eat anything, she only drinks and not much. I was told there were questions asked of the nurses about the liquids she drinks. The heat was put on the nurses with these questions, but it was relayed to me that when she stops drinking, she will pass away 7-10 days later. Of course this isn't a guarantee, but it's a very real possibility. Today, she drank fluids.

It's time for my grandma to go to heaven. Her life on Earth has been long and wonderful, but it's time for God to take her home and it's time for her to be reunited with grandpa.

I can't help but be sad knowing that her passing is coming...even though I know it's better for her. It's the selfish side of me that seems to take this hard. Everyone knows it's time for grandma to go. But that doesn't make it any less sad for me now.

My grandma doesn't know anybody and hasn't for a while now. The last time I seen her, I cried for hours as I sat by her bed. She had no clue who I was.

This time of year makes it especially hard. Knowing that the phone call could come at any point. Knowing that it could happen on Christmas. Even though I know she'll be so much better in heaven, I feel like it could make or break the holiday. It will be sad and she will be missed.

I have many great memories of my grandma. Those I will share at a different time. Right now, I can't, the time doesn't feel right.

Every time I see my dad calling, I get a gut feeling inside, like is this the phone call. I have expected to hear the news for several months now. Dad Cell Calling. I always answer and so far it hasn't been that call. But tonight, I learned I shouldn't be shocked or surprised when the call comes. Because it will.