Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did not take my almost 2 year old to Wal-Mart and listen to him throw the hugest temper tantrum while gurgling and screaming in the cart. Because I did not do such a thing, then I definitely did not chuckle as EVERY person in the store looked at him and me like I’m crazy. And when I reached the diaper aisle, I did not grab a package of pacifiers, rip them open and stuff one in his mouth right there because that would be absolutely desperate of me. Finally, I did not shake my head in disbelief when he threw it out onto the floor and I did not make the fastest get out of Wal-Mart trip in history.

We went to grandpa and grandma’s house on Tuesday night for a night of visiting with relatives who live far away and I did not warn the kids to not touch anything, there will be no kids toys, and to respect everyone’s belongings. I swear, the minute we entered the house, they all left their listening ears in the van and did not do anything I had just warned them about. While inside, I did not ever, not once give them the “look” that means death could come early because that would mean I was not in control.

I did not find myself staring awkwardly at people I do not know well, and I certainly did not pull my own teeth out in my mind trying to come up with something to talk about other than my job or the weather. Nope, not ME!

While driving home from town, I did not lose myself in complete disbelief as my sock kept twisting on my foot that when my husband honked the horn, just to see how hard he had to push, did I not jump out of my seat. And my husband did not laugh in complete hysterics at me. Immediately after jumping from my seat, I certainly did not think that somehow me moving my foot would cause the horn to honk. That would be absurd!

I did not find myself the least bit scared as I sat in an automatic carwash while the waterpressure shook my car from side to side. And I did NOT for one single minute imagine my windows or my windshield shattering and getting pressurized by the water. And then, I definitely did NOT go back through the same car wash 2 hours later with a different vehicle and have terrible visions of drowning in a car wash. I do NOT under any circumstance suffer from a bit of a phobia or anxiety when it comes to car washes.

While at an indoor water park this weekend, I did NOT like all the smiles on peoples faces as they looked at my 2 year old son. And I did NOT even pay attention one little bit when people stared at the scars on his tummy or his feeding tube. And while he was sporting his cute belly and shorts, I did NOT enjoy every single little minute of it.

And finally, I DID NOT under any circumstances get upset, frustrated, angry, or the littlest bit stressed out when Blogger wouldn't upload pictures. And when I took over 45 minutes to upload 3 pictures I did NOT feel like throwing my laptop at Blogger. Period. Nope. Not me! Oh and since I am NOT speaking about my lovely experiences on Blogger, I have yet to figure out why all of my pictures show up on my screen as links instead of pictures. That definitely does NOT puzzle me at all. And I most certainly DO NOT want to know how to fix this. :-)